ok...forgive me for being long-winded and a bit dramatic....
I think my denial has to do with the fact that 30 sounds so adult-like, we just entered a new decade and the fact that I'm about to have 2 kids. there's just something about being 20-something that seems youthful and full of energy and I don't feel either of these right now. Also, I've noticed the appearance of wrinkles....not to excited about those.
So I've been processing the last decade and it's been a tough one! Ha! I mean there have been many many good things that have happened in the last 10 years. I've made some of the best friends in college, I fell in love with Jesus, met my wonderful, amazing, couldn't live without him husband, traveled to many cool places, seen God provide in miraculous ways over and over again, have enjoyed 2 precious years with my first child. But in the midst of all that, it's been a tough ride! I came across a book called Disappointment with God that just deals with some hard questions on life and why God seems silent, inactive etc at times. I'm hoping this will help me process the last 10 years in a better for kingdom-filled light.
So the 2-kid thing. I am SO glad we are having another kid. I wouldn't want it any other way...it just makes me feel like I'm actually becoming a full-fledged mom. I think with Olivia..she was such an easy baby, I could just tote her around with me and she was just content to run around town and the world with us. She traveled great, didn't slow me down much, I could go shopping, we could stay out late, kind of like our lives didn't have to change that much with her. But with two kids and two nap schedules etc, I think this is going to slow me down. I feel like for the first time, I'm becoming a stay-at-home mom. I'm the kind who likes to get out of the house everyday. I'm realizing that isn't going to be possible anymore. I want to embrace this new change and enjoy every moment with my kids (even saying 'kids' makes me feel older!) I just know life is about to change and I wanting to embrace it, but feeling the need to brace myself for it too!
And last, but not least. I know the Bible says that our bodies are wasting away, so I shouldn't expect to look young and beautiful (ha ha) forever, but I don't think I'm ready for the wrinkles, grey hair, and saggy-ness that come with time. I do want to thank Billy Blanks for kickin my tae-bo bootie everytime he goes in the DVD player.
So forgive me, all of you who are already 30. My day of acceptance will come and I will happily accept the age that rightfully fits me, but as for now, all I can say is I love being 29!!!!!
Enjoying the early college days...
21st birthday getaway with the girls in dallas...
Studying hard in college...
Traveling to Afghanistan for the first time in 2003...
Marrying the most amazing man in the world!
Spending time with our family in Arizona before we moved overseas...
Pregnant with Olivia with my dear friend Lisle...
Enjoying special moments with my newborn baby girl...
Moving to Indonesia in April 2009...
And lastly...preggo with baby boy...
9 comments:
Welcome to the old folks' club! You're one of us now : )
way to be honest girl! you will find a new normal with 2. it will look different but just like you have made it work with livy, you will do the same with bitty boy. here for you sister, call me, skype me and we can have a pity party when its hard and rejoice when its peaceful! love you birthday girl!
I completely understand what you're saying. I ended up with a nose ring trying so hard to hold onto my youth. That was short lived! Now, with three kiddos I have no choice but to embrace it all.
Can't wait to see pictures of your new little one :D
aww I loved all the pictures! What a great decade of life :) Umm have to ask, are you still doing tae bo 9 months pregnant??? THAT I have to see!
You are gorgeous Vik!! A beautiful 30!! But agree with all those things you said as well!! Meaning I feel the same shock!!... Here's to praying that the new babe will be just as easy and sweet as the last :)
Vik...loved reading your thoughts! Just so you know, I think you get more beautiful every year! I know you will make this next transition with so much grace, as you have done with all the others! Happy Birthday. As one about to leave her thirties...it is a great decade!! And Forty will be even better! Woo Hoo! :) Erica
shan - i stopped doing tae-bo at about 4 months....it's hard once you start getting a belly and get off balance! I'm ready for my post-preg tae bo workout to start in about 6 weeks though!!!
you're beautiful, vikki!
I loved this post. This is real! I love when people are real because it makes me feel like I am not crazy and I just might be somewhat normal! ;)
The whole have two kids 16 months apart for me, slapped the sagginess and old lady thing in my face. Especially the lovely spider veins I've acquired. WHOA is all I can say...And I still have 2 years till 30! ha!
But yes you will love being a mommy of 2... you will LOVE having a boy and a girl... So fun and So different...you will now definately be a full fledge mommy but girlfriend, I get out EVERY day. I would go stir crazy! It's very doable. Just took some getting used to and learning as you go and we go out and about all the time! Just think you almost won't need Billy that much because the muscles and stamina you will have going out with two kids is a workout all day! ;)
And you will have GREAT days and you will have bummer days but EVERYDAY is a gift and God is conitnually shaping you into being more and more like Him. I like to think when I feel like such a failure so many times as a mom, that he is chiseling and building character.
And do you like the tae-bo? I would like to add another one to my Jillian video workout...
Can't wait to see pics of the cute little boy! Praying for ya'll!!!
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